Top Five Reasons to stay in Japan

My eikaiwa students gave me a list of 5 reasons why I should stay in Japan another year. Let's say it was not all that heartwarming and it is making my impending return not very inviting...

1. Homeless...I do not know where I am going to live when I get back.
2. Jobless...No one wants to hire a kinesiologist who can only teach English
3. Single...I have no boyfriend and thus no reason to live according to everyone here
4. Poor... I have no job = no money...plus a student loan
5. Carless..I will have to walk everywhere...