Dance of Freedom

Tomorrow will be the last day that I will have to spend in the Dungeon. The dungeon has been my home for the last year and a half. I think the nickname is indicative of how I felt in my job...trapped with no way of seeing out to the outside world. My job was not horrible and I was very lucky to have had this opportunity to work there. This was my first "grown up" job after gradschool and it was definitely eye opening. I came out of school a bit cocky about my education and skills and extremely eager. I was going to change the world and be the best employee ever. It turns out that I am not as smart as I think I am and research is not my forte. It was a big blow to my ego when I discovered that I wasn't doing a good enough job. For the first time in a very very long time, I felt inadequate. It was not the job nor my supervisor but it was just the fit with my personality, interests, and skills. HIV is an area that is really interesting but I just felt like I needed to do more than read about them on paper. I felt helpless...the reason why I went back to school was not being met.

So tomorrow, when I walk out of the dungeon for the last time, it will be with joy in my step and hope in my heart.