Todays thoughts...Japanese and more Japanese....




I was entirely too optimistic about the weather before. It is cold and wet rainy day here in Japan. I had hopes of some warm spring temps. but alas my hopes have been dashed by all the cold rain and the wind. Oh well, I guess my poor feet can wait a little while longer.




I am actually on a study break from my Japanese homework. I am having such a hard time with this darn language. It seems the more I learn the more I realize how little I truly know. I guess it is always the case. I figured after living in a country for two years I would be entirely fluent...well not the case with Japanese. Although, I feel that I have made leaps and bounds with respect to what I came with and what I know now, (going from essentially nothing, to being able to use functional Japanese on a daily basis is some improvement), I am still entirely clueless about this language. At times, I am living in a world where I am a functional illiterate that is both death and mute to the world around me. I have mastered the art of tuning things out. You would be surprised how easily I tune it all out if someone is not talking to me directly. Japanese is an incredibly difficult language for me. If you guys do not already know this already, I am one of those people who have entirely unrealistic expectations of herself. I expect perfection from myself. I have an idea in my head that I can master anything I want to do... instantaneously...it is not about thinking too highly of oneself but of pushing myself. That I guess is where the problem lies. Damm, my need for perfection and my self loathing.....





On a happier note, I realized today that I know have exactly 20 days and 3 months before the end of my contract here. I will be returning to Canada after that. I cannot give an exact date yet, but I anticipate I should be home around the end of August or beginning of September the latest. Just in time for fall in Canada. It seems like it has been such a long time since I have seen home and everyone. I realized just the other week that I have missed two years of birthdays, Christmas's, seasons...strangely enough the time has gone by really fast, but at the same time it seems like a long time ago that I was in Vancouver. So much for only taking a year off after finishing school to relax and enjoy life. One year somehow turned into two...I know I need to leave this country before it turns into three then four years, like so many other people I know here.




Japan has definately changed and grown in my mind. I know consider it a second home and a part of me. You would be surprised to learn that I will probably miss this place a great deal, even amidst all my complaining about this culture and my students. Japan is not only about the people I have met but also about all the experiences I have had. Come on, who can forget having 20 18 year old high school boys shout out "Sharin, I love you", as you walk past them on your way home, or having some random man on the train massage your feet. You need to live in Japan to truly experience the inside of the bubble.