Back to Life...Back to reality

Well, I have been home for almost two weeks now...My brain however is still on vacation mode.  It wants to sleep in and not think about work, I have a hard time kick starting it in the morning.

It seems that each time I go to Toronto it gets harder and harder to leave.  With my two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts in hand, I begrudgingly walked into the airport in Toronto.  I am not sure if I got strange looks cause of the number of donuts or because I was all teary eyed and sniffly.   I felt so sad about leaving that when I went through the metal detector and it beeped, and they asked me to remove my birkenstocks, I nearly burst into tears.  It was a sorry sight to see me walking through the metal detector bare foot sniffling.   

Previously I was complaining about the fact that I was unemployed and was feeling like I was not doing anything.  Well, I am now a functioning member of society, contributing to the work force.  Albeit in a less than self-desired level.  I am not going to complain though.  I am determined to do the bestest job I can and be the bestest person I can be. 
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It is strange to be going back up to university everyday.  I spent the better part of 4 years at that place and once I graduated I never thought that I would be back there so soon.  It is some ways it is a little unsettling.  Probably attributed to the pavlovian training we endured as undergrads.  Just walking past the large lecture halls of first year Physics and Chemistry makes me cringe with fear.  I can remember the stress of sitting inside that cold fluorescent lit hall trying desperately to write as much information down as possible before my brain released all the information. 

Some days it still feels like I am a student again, when I walk into the student run coffee shop and buy my breakfast and think to myself," man this food is overpriced".   I am surrounded by these kids who are untainted by the realities of life and the lack of possibilities with just only having a silly bachelors degree.  ;)
Boy do I sound like a jaded crusty bitter old woman at the ripe old age of 26...aiya, really I am 26....

Seriously, I am happy to be employed and with that financial freedom and other travel opportunities.  I am itching to do another trip again.    There  is so much more of the world I have yet to see, I have only seen the smallest part of it.

Wedded Bliss

I finally made it to Toronto after traveling via bus, car, and train across upper New York state. I arrived in Toronto late Thurs night sitting on my butt for 5 long hours from Buffalo. I must say that I enjoyed spending time with my friend Marie and meeting her family and friends.

I arrived in Toronto to a house full of family and friends, which I would later discover to be the first of a weekend long of partying for the wedding. I was promptly introduced to everyone and welcomed into the family like their long lost sister. It was nice to be so quickly and readily accepted to be a part of the family.

We spent Friday prepping for a party for more family due to be arriving for the wedding. When I casually asked how many people were coming, I was expecting 50 at the most, but to my shock, I was told "only about 120" or so...Just a small family get together. This was only the brides family too...Uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, half brothers and half sisters.....I could not keep everyone straight, but was introduced to everyone among hugs and kisses.
It was a big party, with lots of food and good times. They hired African drummers to provide the music for the dancing. Little did I know that this would African dancing, let's say that it puts the lambda to shame, I have not seen so much hip gyrations and grinding in so many people at the same time. I was happy to clap along, until someone grabbed me and pulled me into the circle. I was desperately grabbing at anything to prevent humiliating myself. Alas it was futile and I had to accept my fate, so with a deep breath and a quick silent prayer, I attempted to shake my booty like there was no tomorrow. Lets say it was not pretty and not even that appealing but for the sake of the party I was willing to sacrifice my pride.

The wedding went beautifully and everyone had a lot of fun. I pulled out the good ol' dress and the healy things they call shoes, put on some make-up with my newly manicured hands, and headed out in a rolls Royce. The rolls was arriving too late for the bride to go to the ceremony so I was designated bride stand in and got to ride in the rolls to the ceremony, along with 3 cousins.

Stephi and Ken, looked so much in love and the ceremony was fun and light hearted. Everyone seemed to enjoy the wedding very much. There was a lot of personal touches, like hand made cards, wine, and personalized CD's. Their family loves to party and have a good time. Everyone was on the dance floor having a ball. Even after my previous nights humiliation, I figured that I would dance too. That of course, was helped along by some liquid courage. We danced so much that at one point we all took off our shoes and hiked up our dresses and put our sore feet in the fountain. It was an interesting sight to see a bride with her shoes off and her wedding dress hiked up with her feet in the fountain. It was so much fun to let loose and enjoy it. This has probably been one of the most enjoyable weddings I have been to.

The family has been absolutely welcoming and lovely. I was introduced as their adoptive sister/daughter and welcomed as one of their own. Of course the father having 11 siblings and the mother having 9 siblings, I have picked up a lot more uncles, aunts, and cousins, not to mention second cousins. The only problem with getting to know all of this family, they inevitably decide that they know of someone that they can set me up with to rightly marry into the family.

I am having a wonderful time in Toronto, it is nice to surrounded by such kind warm hearted people, who so quickly and unequivocally accept you as one of their own.

Mad Wanderings

I spent a week in the city wandering around from one tourist attraction to another. Armed with my trusty subway map and my credit card, I managed to have a good time in the big apple. I figured out the complex puzzle of the subway system without getting lost too much, but mostly I just walked around the city. It was a great way to get a feel for it and to be able to see a lot more of it, the only down side is that with walking 40 blocks a day your feet inevitably rebel against all the walking and you develop blisters. My feet definately had enough of my walking and decided that it would no longer fit into my sandals. My trusted Tevas which have accompanied me on many of my trips were one of the worst shoes to wear.

I probably hit most of the famous must see sites in the city. However, I think that my favourite ones would have to be the empire state building and the Guggenheim. I went to both the Metropolitan and Guggenheim museums of Art. Each had their own charm, but I have to admit that I was partial to the Guggenheim, because of its beautiful architecture and design.

No trip to the city would be complete without doing some shopping, unfortunately due to my limited funds and the limit of my credit card, I could not shop as much as I wanted to. There is a plethora of shops that I could have spent a fortune on but alas the life of a poor twenty something.

After lugging my big ole bag onto the greyhound bus, and sustaining an injury in the process, I managed to avoid talking to some dodgy Chinese men on the bus, to arrive safe and sound in Albany New York to stay with my friend Marie. I am having a great time with her and spending time catching up. I am a serial friend floor crasher. Heck, what are friends for....

I (Heart) NY

So, finally after what seemed like an endless bus ride filled with fitful sleep and a very uncomfortable seat, I made it to NY city from Toronto. It was one of the worst bus rides I have ever experienced. I was not a happy camper at the end of it.

I have been in the city for several days now and am slowly checking off my to do and to see list. Most importantly I was able to spend some time with some friends of mine that I have not seen in a while. My friend PAK, (there, satisfied I mentioned your name) came up from Boston to see me. He was a fellow JET and one of the first people I met in Japan. As well as Elita, she and I came up from TO together.

Our first day we spent wandering around getting a feel for the city...umm...getting a feel for the shopping more accurately. There is some great shopping to be done here. Then Pak and I ventured to Little Italy for dinner. It was a great experience. It was a street that was blocked off and full of open air restaurants. It is if I were actually in Italy, well at least how I imagine Italy to be.

Day two started off in time square. We lined up for tix to a broadway show. Unfortunately, Pak could not come back with us because he had to take the dodgy Chinatown bus back to Boston. He missed out, we saw RENT. We were pretty close to the front so we had great seats. It was a really neat experience. We did some more wandering through the city. Elita and her friend Connie, had to catch their bus and train respectively back to Toronto. So I was left to wander around by myself.

I have a NY moment to share, I went to Rockefeller Centre and sat down on this round bench to eat a sandwich. I have just taken out my sandwich, when a police officer starts heading towards me. I make eye contact and smile, and he keeps walking towards me. I start to worry..uh oh...have I done something wrong, maybe I cannot eat here. Just as soon, as I start to become nervous. He approaches the guy next to me and says, "what are you doing here?, What's this? Why is it open? The man says, well officer I was going to go to the bathroom. The officer tells, him to put it away and zip it up and then takes out his baton. He tells him to leave this area and escorts him away from me. The officer then walks back to his post and starts whispering to the guy next to him. I swear, he is whispering about me and how naive this west coast girl is. I simply continue to eat my sandwich, swearing that I will be more conscious of who I sit next to from now on.

That probably has been my only real negative experience in NY and it was quickly remedied. I have done quite a bit of touristy things, like the Empire State building, lady liberty, and the UN. Besides the Jay walking, the constant honking traffic, and the pushy people, New York definitely has its charms.

Last English Class

Yesterday, I had my last volunteer English class. I have really enjoyed my weekly visits and lessons. It was a chance for me to stay connected to the Japanese community and to hang on to a bit of the JET life. I will miss it a lot. The classes were never really well planned...my fault, but nonethless really enjoyable for me. It was a combination of teaching English and a chance for me to practice what little Japanese I have left. They were a fun group of ladies.

It seems that this trip will mark the divide from my post-Japan floundering and the next step of finally participating in a grown up life. I am happy to take this step, but at the same time conscious of the challenge of it. Hopefully, when I get back from my trip, I will finally settle in and have a bit of direction in my life.

Friendships....

I am happy to announce that a few of my friends have finally moved back to Vancouver. I am excited to be in the same city as them. It has been too long since we last lived in the same part of the world. Hopefully, we will be up to our old mischief again.

Friendships is something that is hard to describe, it is just something that is there. I have always been blessed by some incredibly special people in my life whom. They have stood by me and encouraged me on some of my bluest days. It is nice to know that there are people out there rooting for you.

Some friendships have changed over the course of the last few years, some have become closer while others, we have drifted apart. I guess, that is a part of the way things work in life. I figure that it is about kharma, those people meant to be in your life will stay in your life, those not meant to be will not be....

Harry Potter

Last night, I went to see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It was definately my favourite Harry Potter movie by far. This one was more interesting and more as I had pictured the book in my mind. The story line was true to the book, while not being caught up in trying to have every detail of the book in the movie. It was scarier than the other ones but not as dark. If that makes sense. I definately recommend going to see it if you have not seen it yet.

Finally

After 8 long months, 2 less than stellar "jobs", unfathomable job applications and cover letters, and numerous thoughts of unworthiness and self pity, I finally found a job. I got a real job that pays real money and I do not have to sell my soul or sell anything. I will be working as an administrative assistant at Simon Fraser University, my alma mater. I will be working in the institite of Nutrition, Metabolism, and Diabetes with Dr. Diane Finegood. It should be a challenging position. It will be similar to my previous job at SFU before I left for Japan. It is a familiar environment and probably will remind me of my undergrad days. I just cannot get away from that place.

As well, I have decided about school and what direction to pursue. I want to do the MSc. in Public Health at SFU in 2005. I plan to do the stream relating to working with non-profit organizations. It is finally something I am excited about. Yippie!!

Life

It has been a while since I have updated my blog. It seems that I spend very little time on the computer now. It is a definite change for me. I remember the days in Japan where I would check my email several times a day, now I check it about once or twice a week. Strange isn't it. I guess it is because, email/internet is not the only link with the outside world for me now.

I have not really contacted anyone. Ever since my return home, I have been sort of a recluse, not entirely sure why I have been anti-social. I think that I am in a reflective mood, a bit self absorbed in my own inner chaos. That is not to say, that I do not think about you guys out there once in a while. I do miss everyone.

I have been reading quite a bit, from very deep and thought provoking books dealing with self-help and differences in cultural identity to total garbage fictional stories, which I can finish in a day. I have also been exercising my creative energy by doing some design work. I hope to have a website showcasing what I have been doing, up and running soon. Wish me good luck. I will keep everyone posted on the progress of that.

I have also been working. I got a job as a hostess for a real estate company. I definitely do not have to sell my soul in this position, like I did at the BAY. It is quite relaxing and I get a lot of reading done there, but sometimes I feel like I need to be challenged more. I have this brain, which I barely use and it most certainly is well on its way to turning into mush. The ideal job has still alluded me but the only thing I can do is to gambatte and keep on it. (gambatte is the Japanese term for persevere). I am sure that something will work out, be it sooner or later. Hopefully sooner than later though.

I guess, the only thing I can do is approach life with a great big smile and face it head on as best as I can. I am confident that good kharma will help me out.

Dalai Lama

Last weekend I had the opportunity to see the Dalai Lama give a talk on "Universal Responsibility". Ever since reading the "Art of Happiness", I have wanted to hear him speak, so when I heard he was coming to Vancouver I had to go to his talk.

Unbeknownst to me, Archbishop Desmond Tutu was also there and he introduced the Dalai Lama. You would think that these two great spiritual leaders from oposite ends of the religous spectrum, would be very serious and unapproachable. However, this is not the case, both are very charismatic and have this quirky sense of humour. I can now see why those two are best of friends. It is like sitting down with two of your grandfathers.

I think the message that the Dalai Lama presented was universal regardless of religion. The fate of humanity lies within each and everyone of us. Each of us has a responsibility to act compassionately towards our fellow man. With this ideology, many conflicts and wars can be avoided.

The Dalai Lama is serenity personified and he just fills you with that same sense of peace and calmness. He can pack a stadium like a rock star but yet hold his entire audience captive to the point where there is utter silence around you. It was a truly unique experience.


Now on a less spiritualy enlightening experience....

Random Man

On a different note, I had an encounter with another random man while driving the other day. I made the mistake of looking over to the car beside me and making eye contact. He motioned for me to roll down the window. We proceeded to have a little bit of a conversation while stopped at the light. Without getting into the details I could have had some Italian man's phone number and a coffee date.

It was a small reminder that even when you are not feeling your most attractive, something like this reminds you that you just might not be as ugly as you think.

Serious Thoughts

When I was little I would always fall asleep in the car during a long car trip. I remember all the times that I would pretend to be still asleep when we got home, so that my father could carry me to me room. As a child you believe that your father is the strongest and smartest person in the world. No matter how old you get , that idea is always in the back of your mind and you carry that with you always.

Well, I have been faced with confronting that notion of invinsibility. Several of my friends' dads are facing very serious forms of cancer/disease. All the sudden, at 26 my friends are dealing with their fathers becoming dependant on them and eventually not being there. My friends' dads have made me realize that I do not value time with my father, I often take him for granted. Over the last few years, I have noticed that my dad is no longer the same invinsible super hero that I had always pictured him to be in my minds eye. Although, I have known for a long time, I rarely talk about my father's degenerative eye disease. Still now, it seems weird to be writing about it on my something like this and still not comfortable with talking about it. With each passing day, my father becomes more human and more dependant on those around him. It is a tough idea to face that your father is no longer that same person, who carried you up to your room.

So, I guess this is just a small reminder to tell your dad that you love him...a bit cheesy perhaps, but tell that to my friends faced with potentially losing their dads.

Sandals Report

Due to the unseasonably warm weather we have been having in Vancouver, I have been able to release my poor feetsies from the confines of socks and shoes early this year. I love the feeling of being able to wiggle your toes and allow the fresh air to touch my gross feet after months of stuffing them in icky thick socks and shoes. This weekend we had a record high 26 degree Celsius- beautiful blue skies weather here. It was wonderful to feel the warm sun on your face and chase away the drab dreariness of the winter blues. It is amazing how a little bit of sunshine can lift your spirits and make the world seem so much brighter.

Quarterlife Crisis

It is sort of like the mid-life crisis but it happens when you are in your 20's and 30's. Defined as the time in your life from when you finish school until you figure out where you are headed in life. It can be confusion about a career, your love life, the decision to start a family, etc. It supposedly is very common but not talked about.

What are your thoughts on that? I have picked up a book on it and have been reading about it. I am curious to find out what you faithful bloggers out there think about this topic. For those of you who think you have a quarterlife crisis or those of you who think they have gone through their quarterlife crisis, I am interested in your opinions.

For those of you interested in the book, it is called "quaterlife crisis and is written by something Robbins.

Bringing Japan to Vancouver

It was just like I was in Takaoka again, surrounded by noisy 15 and 16 year old kids, giggling and excited about all the damage they could do shopping. It was great. On Monday, 18 of my former students had a 3 day stopover in Vancouver and I was invited to meet them.

I was looking forward to seeing them and catching up. I met them at Granville Island and joined their little tour group. I cannot believe that over 6 months have passed since I was last in Japan but it was like nothing had changed at all. I felt like I was one of them, in fact almost everywhere I went, everyone thought I was Japanese. It was fun to be immersed in it all over again.

On day two we went to Victoria and left at the ungodly hour of 7:30 to catch the 9:00 am ferry. I was super tired. However, it was fun to hang out with them all day and get to know some of the kids that I had not taught. They were a good group of kids and made me feel welcome.

Ohhh, my little kiddies....

Random Man...

I was waiting for the bus on Saturday morning, reading my "What should I do with my life book", when I look up to see a man staring at me. I make eye contact and smile, yes, I know I probably should not have done that, but he was wearing cute overalls and I cannot resist overalls. They remind me of kids.

Well, he proceeds to ask me what I am reading and I tell him about the book. He does not seem to get it and asks me, what kind of jobs are they doing? I try again to explain the premise of the book but again he does not seem to get it. He then asks me where I am going, I tell him I am going to work at Oakridge. He then starts talking about all the hockey games on that night and how it is all Canadian teams playing. He says that the Canucks did well the night before. I smile and ask him if he likes hockey, he mutters something and then starts walking off.

It has been a while since I have run into random men, so I guess it was about time. He was harmless and seemed nice. Plus it was on a busy street with lots of cars going by so if he tried something I could just run into the street for help. No worries.

Proud Aunty!!

I have just added some more photos of my nephew onto my online photo album. Just click on the link to the right. Enjoy.

Teaching English...

When I left Japan, I thought that I would never again teach English again. Heck, after 2 years of unruly highschool students anyone would feel the same way. Well, today I volunteered to teach a group of adult Japanese people conversational English. I actually really enjoyed it. It was fun and something I am totally comfortable with, it was like second nature. In fact, it reminded me of Japan and all the Eikaiwa lessons I did. Sugoku nasukashi!! I hope to continue doing it week after week.

What should I do with my life?

Recently I picked up a book called "What Should I do with my Life?" It is a collection of real life stories from people who found careers/jobs/a passion in life. I have started reading this book in the hopes that it will inspire me to get out there and do something. So far, I have read about a doctor who left her job to work on robotics and an advertising agent who became a hortoculturalist. Interesting changes those people took, hopefully like them something will spark the passion in me and I will find my calling in life. Wish me good luck.

On a more positive note, I have started doing Yoga and Pilates. I find that the Yoga is good for relaxation and dealing with some of the stress in my life. The pilates is good because it forces me to use those core muscles that I have taken for granted, all the slouching I did at my desk in Japan over the computer. It makes me feel good to be using all those muscles that I had to learn about but now have forgotten the names of.

Here is a picture of my new nephew

Meet Caleb.

I am very very happy to announce the arrival of Caleb Isaiah Wu. He weighed in at 7 lbs 9oz. I have to say that he is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Usually, when they are first born they are all wrinkly and red, not very attractive at all but he is simply perfect. I am not saying that cause he is my brand new nephew but in actuality in a totally unbiased opinion he is beautiful.

I sense our bond already, afterall we almost share the same birthday and when I picked him up today he was crying but soon after he stopped crying and fell asleep. I think we will get along well, I am going to be the bestest ever aunt in the whole wide world to him.